This Beautiful Disaster
by Just.D
Summary: Outlaw Queen - Set after the season finale - Robin confronts Regina.


**Hi guys! I'm still working on my other fic 'Some Hearts' I'm just dealing with a severe case of writer's block brought on by the season finale. I'm so heartbroken right now. I don't even know what to say. Actually let's just say I'm not pleased. My dear friend and fellow fanfic writer Darley1101 advised me to just keep on writing until I manage to break my block and this one shot is basically the result of me trying to break through the cloud in my mind. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

**This Beautiful Disaster**

She bend down and curled her fingers around the dark metal object. It felt heavy and cold in her palm, nothing like she'd ever felt before. It resembled an old fashioned coin but then again it didn't. Upon closer examination she could just make out the tiniest of faded carvings around the edges. Words, maybe, she thought. It was hard to tell by the dim light of her lantern. Maybe a fireball could shed more light on it.

'Regina.'

The hairs on the back of her neck rose, she thrust the object in her pocket and stood.

That voice.

She dreaded the sound of it. No matter where or when she was a mere whisper spoken in that same voice held the power to completely rip her apart these days. She'd done everything to avoid the owner, but alas avoidance could only last for so long, she knew that, and maybe that should have been reason enough for her to leave town when she'd had the chance. That memory potion she'd concocted, so appealing at the time; filled with promises of a fresh start outside of Storybrooke. No dark past, no broken present, no empty future, just a blank slate; a new beginning without magic and everyone she knew who had ever been tainted by it; black or white. But then she hadn't drunk it, nor crossed that line. Yet, she'd been so close. She'd put the bottle to her lips, had been ready to pour its contents down her throat. Even now she could still taste the release it offered, the promise of a new blissful, ignorant life. But then her son, her Henry, had invaded every corner of her mind, every thought and memory, every single moment she'd shared with him; the good, the bad, the love. She'd thrown the bottle across the room, it had shattered on the other side and that had been the end of it.

'What are you doing here?' She said, her back to him.

'You can't go after her all by yourself.'

'And you think _you_ can stop me?' She spat back. He had some nerve to call her out on her actions after all that had happened.

'How did you find me?'

'I have my ways.' He was closer now, she could tell. His breath warm on the back of her neck, a shiver ran down her spine.

She turned around, only to suppress a gasp. He stood too close, closer than she was prepared for and the compassion she found in his eyes was utterly unbearable. She couldn't take it. Not now; possibly never.

'I don't want your help.'

She took a step away. Distance was all she had going for her now. Why couldn't he just take the hint and leave her alone?

'Whether you want to or not I'm coming with you.'

She laughed at that. He could be so naïve sometimes. One flick of her hand and he'd be back with his wife and son, or better yet, she should just freeze him in place, he'd sure blend in nicely among the frosted mine tunnels and she'd never look back. If only she could never look back. Not care.

'None of this is any of your concern.'

His eyes darkened.

'It used to be.'

She swallowed hard and took another step backward.

'You forfeited that right when –' She trailed. She couldn't even blame him; not really. It was not his fault that she ended up precisely where she always ended up.

'Just leave, p-please.' Her voice shook, was she pleading now? It sure sounded like it. A lump formed in her throat and she felt her eyes burn with budding tears and it took all of her strength to push them back down. She would not give into this. Not now, not ever.

'I wish I could.' He reached out but she took another step backward. He shook his head and bit his lip, his own conflicting thoughts shining through. He wanted so much to comfort her, she could tell. She could always tell, of course she could, he was the other half of her aching soul.

'David told me.' He began, respecting her want for distance. 'He didn't want to at first.' She studied his expression the pity and concern growing and she knew it had been a mistake. She should have stayed clear from Tinkerbell, of course she'd tell the Charmings.

'He thinks you're behaving irrationally. That you're intentionally trying to get yourself killed.'

'So Prince Charming obtained his PhD in psychology now too?' She crossed her arms in front of her, a deep seethed rage slowly growing larger, starting in the pit of her stomach and spreading all the way to her extremities. She'd never been in any danger, not really.

'You have no idea what we're up against. She's dangerous, unpredictable and you're throwing yourself at her without any thought or concern for the people around you. For the people who care about you.'

'And what is that to you?!' She scoffed, her anger bubbling to the front now. She knew it wasn't fair, that his marriage was a commitment he meant to honor. He never intentionally wanted to hurt her. He was just a thief with too much honor; something she loved and resented about him.

'What is that to me?!' He repeated, matching her in anger. He crossed the gap between them at such a rapid speed it made her flinch. 'I care about you, Regina!'

He grabbed her arms, his touch electric and she shook her head. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to want him, not really.

'You don't have that right anymore.' She whispered and a tear slipped down her cheek.

'I don't have that right?' He huffed. 'You can't control who I do and do not care about. Do you think it's easy for me? I haven't seen you in days, you just disappeared the moment Marian appeared. We never got a chance to talk about this.'

'What is there to talk about? You got your second chance, you got her back, you don't need me anymore.'

He let out a sigh, unprepared she felt both his hands come up to cup her face. She felt herself tremble at the touch; she didn't want this. She pressed her hands against his chest, struggling hard, but in the end he trapped her with a piercing look and she stopped pushing.

'Did you ever consider the possibility that you're more than just a second choice?'

She closed her eyes, willing herself to extinguish the flicker of hope his words ignited inside her chest.

'It doesn't matter.' She whispered.

'It matters to me.'

'You're with her.' She ignored him.

'Yes.' He confirmed.

Her heart painfully twitched inside her chest. To hear him say it, to officially acknowledge his commitment to Marian, it felt like he'd just pushed and twisted the knife in her heart even deeper. She took in a shaky breath.

'Then it doesn't matter.' She pushed against his chest again and this time he released her, his arms falling to his side, looking quite as defeated as she felt.

'I don't want it to be like this.'

'Are you going to stay with her?'

He nodded.

'Then it is like this.'

He frowned and opened his mouth a retort on his lips but she shook her head and cut him off before he could say so much as a word.

'You're hurting me.' She bit her lip and whipped at her tears. 'You standing there is killing me.' Her eyes pleaded with him. 'Please, leave.'

He remained frozen in front of her waging his own battle as his considered her desperate words.

'Let me deal with this my way.' She continued.

A few more moments past but then he slowly nodded, reaching for her at the same time, and she didn't fight him anymore. He would respect her wishes. She knew he would, because he was an honorable man and he understood what she was asking of him. His arms closed around her waist and she allowed herself to lean into the familiar curve of his body. His lips pressed against her neck, softly kissing her skin there.

'Just don't get yourself killed.' He whispered in her ear.

She shook her head, searching but failing to find the right words. She'd never been particularly good with goodbyes. Ironically most of her goodbyes in the past included death, but he wasn't about to die. Nothing so definite would befall him. In many ways this goodbye was more torturous than any of the others she'd ever had to endure. He was alive and would always be just outside her reach.

* * *

**I know it's kind of heartbreaking but this pretty much sums up the mood I've been in since Sunday! Hope you managed to enjoy it somehow nonetheless and let me know what you think!**


End file.
